RELATIONSHIPS!!! Yikes…. Do you ever feel that way? I mean really, understanding other people is nearly impossible, isn’t it? We have so many factors that influence how we interpret people and their responses to us.
So many times, I have totally messed up a good thing because I assumed the worst and projected it on the person nearby me. There really are so many ways to look at something. Piling on this ability to misinterpret comes personality differences and past life experiences. Even our worldview can be vastly different from one person to the next. Our mood and current life experiences can also affect our responses and interpretations. This is just the tip of the iceberg to our perceptions.
The flesh outward expressions are a mere response to what is brewing deep within our souls. In the soul realm we are often bound by past traumas and unresolved situations. We can be ruled by a deep pain, which often results in an overly protective nature of ourselves. This can result in rage, bitterness, and pride.
Deeper than all of this is where we are with God. If we have no saving grace, our soul is a playground for demons and we are not playing, we are being played. If we are in the beginnings of a relationship with Jesus, then some healing may have occurred. Until we learn about the intricate nature of our existence and its true reality, we may still be in the dark to our innermost places. Even the most experienced person with Abba, still has quirks and weak points. Let’s face it, we are in the presence of or in social media exposure to many people who are at many different stages of development.
Ok so now that we have covered the basics of people and their insides, it is time to face the organized attack against humanity and God. It is not the desire of the prince of this dark world for us to all get along. It is not within the realm of desire of the dark forces for us to engage in meaningful relationships.
We are taught from a young age how dark and evil we are. We are told time and time again that we are not deserving of anything but death. Now, those things are true, but once Jesus is introduced to us and we embrace His love, things change. Our place in this world changes as we are covered by Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.
I have begun to notice a pattern that we often do. It is a very human thing, we seem to project this unspeakable person we are on the inside onto the people all around us. This is something we seem to do to try to alleviate the guilt and pain we feel deep within our soul. We all have this pain and emptiness. It is a result of the fallen state and our predisposition to sin and shame. We know something is missing. A huge void is found within us when we aren’t filled with the Holy Spirit. People will do crazy and unspeakable things trying to fill this void.
We somehow know that what we are deep within is not desirable, so instead of allowing Jesus to change us from the inside out, we focus on the bad parts and feel this incredible shame. Well, there is a place for this shame, but once again if we are covered in the blood of Jesus, then that shame and self-loathing should disappear.
Romans 8 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
Deliverance from Bondage
8 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life [a]in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. 3 For what the Law could not do, [b]weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of [c]sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, 4 so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, 7 because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, 8 and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
9 However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. 10 If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is [d]alive because of righteousness. 11 But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies [e]through His Spirit who dwells in you.
12 So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh— 13 for if you are living according to the flesh, you [f]must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you have not received a spirit of slavery [g]leading to fear again, but you have received [h]a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.
We should then be so in love with Jesus that we actually become child like and give the whole lot of our lives over to Jesus.
Matthew 18:3 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
3 and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you [a]are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.
Seriously, the messy nature of our deplorable lives is not something we can deal with or take care of by ourselves. So, stop trying to fix it yourselves, LET IT GO!!!!!!
We really have been bought with a price, paid for by the blood of Jesus. We can not do anything of our own ability.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
19 Or do you not know that your body is a [a]temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from [b]God, and that you are not your own? 20 For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.
When we are bought by and submit to our Kinsmen redeemer, we are only really responsible for a couple things. The first in this progression has to do with listening. We must learn to hear our Fathers voice. This is what the Holy Spirit has to say about this subject.
John 10 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
Parable of the Good Shepherd
10 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter by the door into the fold of the sheep, but climbs up some other way, he is a thief and a robber. 2 But he who enters by the door is a shepherd of the sheep. 3 To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he puts forth all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5 A stranger they simply will not follow, but will flee from him, because they do not know the voice of strangers.” 6 This figure of speech Jesus spoke to them, but they did not understand what those things were which He had been saying to them.
7 So Jesus said to them again, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 All who came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them. 9 I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and [a]have it abundantly.
11 “I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who is not the owner of the sheep, sees the wolf coming, and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and is not concerned about the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, 15 even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. 16 I have other sheep, which are not of this fold; I must bring them also, and they will hear My voice; and they will become one flock with one shepherd. 17 For this reason the Father loves Me, because I lay down My life so that I may take it again. 18 No one has taken it away from Me, but I lay it down on My own initiative. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This commandment I received from My Father.”
This is key for any relationship, isn’t it? Tell me something, once you know someone really well, can’t you deduce their tone and word usage. Couldn’t you recognize that persons way without even audibly hearing their words with their voice. Could you read a letter from any person you know intimately and be able to say ohhhhh, yeah that totally sounds like so and so?
Have you ever loved someone so much that even if they made a mistake, (yeah a totally bad one!!!) you still continue loving them? How are we ever to be able to know our father’s voice if we are not communicating with Father? The reason His sheep know his voice is because through trial and error, through our experiences with Him, we are able to discern between His leading and the leadings of darkness. After reading scripture, praying, and listening, we begin to know how the voice of the Holy Spirit sounds. Knowing His voice is do or die!!! We must know His voice; our lives depend upon it.
So here is how Father taught me to hear and discern the voice of the Holy Spirit. First, I would read and study the scriptures. I began to see the words of truth come alive. They were alive and they would bring life to my innermost parts. I hungered for them and needed them to survive. I began to notice a difference between reading scripture and some other non-inspired book.
I started to be more and more aware of the differences. Along with that I would sing praises to Father all the time. There was always a song on my heart. This created thankfulness within me. I began to see all that I wasn’t, and all that God was. I craved Him more and more.
I knew that this dry parched soul needed WATER!! God is my water. My healing water that flows over my broken parts giving new life and purpose to them. Every time I would read scripture or sing my heart songs to Jesus that water would flow more and more.
Then I started to hear the Holy Spirit, now its not what you all are thinking, I am sure. You see it started with little incidental things. Here is an example, I would be at the grocery store with limited funds. I would prepare a list of things carefully chosen to feed my family the most cost-effective way. I would spend a good bit of time figuring out a menu that was likable by my family and affordable. Soooooo, I would only ever buy what was on the list as it was figured out to the cent of what I could afford.
I would be skipping along in the grocery store being a good steward and only buying what was on the list. Then it happened, suddenly and unexpectedly, I heard a voice, a leading if you would. It said to buy something that was not on my list!! Say what???? Well that just would not do. I said no way, I must be crazy. What on earth was that?? Well, I did not buy that said Item. I was a good little girl following my list and that was that.
Well, that was not the right decision. My ways are certainly not in line with the ways of God. I know very little compared to what God knows.
Isaiah 55:8-9 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.
9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
Well, I get home and what do I NEED? I suddenly realized that I needed that very item that I was told to buy while I was at the store. UMMM what??? How was that possible. So, I had to scrape together some extra couch change and run back to the store and buy that said item.
Imagine what my self-talk was looking like at that store visit. Now by the grace of God, my not listening only produced and inconvenience, not my death or the death of someone else…..
So, the next time I was at the store, same story, different outcome. This time when I heard, I was like huh?? OHHHHH I see, I am supposed to listen and obey. Well, this time I got home and yup, I needed it and voila, it was there. This happened many many times. They were simple little lessons.
Then my training developed into something more intense. I was in Sears, I was shopping I think for clothes for my children. They would have these super great sales, and coupons etc. Well, I was there, and I felt “led” to go over to the department that had “boy” things. I saw a hot water heater that was standing out at me like it was the only item in the store. I went over to it and it was a floor model that was marked way down. I actually felt led to buy it for no reason. I didn’t have the cash, so I had to charge it. I was like arguing with the Holy Spirit how it would be a sin to charge that thing. Don’t you know your own rules Holy Spirit, I said. Well I conceded to the battle in my head and bought the hot water heater that was really inexpensive.
When I got home from thee store, the hot water heater in my basement had rusted out the bottom and my basement was flooded with water. UGGGHHH!! Oh, wait a minute, I just bought one of those. Amazing, simply amazing. I couldn’t believe how the Holy Spirit was looking out for me and my family, and how the Holy Spirit was teaching me how to recognize the Voice!!
This continued and it kept growing in its pertinence. It started to include other people and words I was to express to them. Sometimes it was a complete stranger… I was told to walk up to them and say some specific sentence or two. I felt weird and nervous.
I couldn’t not obey though. I had learned the lesson of disobedience with lesser things. This was a person and possibly their entire future. I had to do it. I could feel this wellspring rising up within the center of my soul. It wouldn’t stop until I obeyed. I did it. I said those words to the stranger. I was told that they were praying for those exact words to confirm something. I was amazed yet again. This kept happening.
Then I began to realize that my time, my days, my life was not my own. I stopped making matter of fact plans and schedules. I began to start my day with, what do you want me to do today?
As the next step in my training to hear the Voice of my Shepherd, Father told me this story through another person, which I will share with you.
There were two people driving to a mountain side to go hiking. They drove up to a spot to park their car and get out to go hiking. Well, when they parked, the passenger felt this pressing on Her heart to not get out of the passenger door. This was weird and didn’t make sense. She pondered what she was hearing and well she decided to hop over and get out of the driver’s side door. The two of them rounded the back of the car and looked!! You are not going to believe what they saw!! It was a rattle snake. If she had hopped out of the car door, like any normal person, she may have lost her life. She definitely would have had a very bad day. I do not want to ignore the voice of God and step on a rattlesnake!!!
Father taught me something that day. He showed me that my obedience to him could determine whether I live or die. Suddenly it became very real!! You see we are in a war, it is a war that is not flesh and blood based. It is a spiritual war.
Ephesians 6:12
12 For our struggle is not against [a]flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
This realm is really not a place we can see on our own. WE NEED the Holy Spirits sight to lead the way. We need the Holy Spirit every moment of every day. We are navigating through a mine field. We don’t know where the mines are, but the Holy Spirit does. I learned through various experiences that my obedience to the voice of the Holy Spirit is pertinent to my very survival. It is pertinent to the Kingdom of God and to the saving of souls.
So now you can see why it is so important to learn to discern the voice of the Holy Spirit. The next thing we are responsible for is our obedience. As you can see it is impossible to truly be obedient if we cannot hear the Holy Spirit’s instructions for our lives. We really can’t navigate this world without the truth and wisdom of the Spirit of the living God. Finally, I believe we are responsible to love.
Love is only possible if we are in a relationship with Jesus, if we are close enough to Him that we know his voice and walk in obedience as a result. We are not capable of love without Jesus loving through us. This is what I am just learning about right now. We do not understand love.
We then tend to attribute what we think love is and project it onto Jesus. Have you ever said or thought this? Well, I really screwed up this time. If I were God, I would send down the guillotine. That’s it, no more chances you are toast. Well, that is the point you see. We are incapable of understanding the nature of God and His love. Let alone being able to actively love the way God does.
Lets take a closer look at the love of Jesus. He loved us first. While we were still sinners, Jesus died for us.
Romans 5:8 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Yeah, totally in darkness, unable to even see Jesus for who He is. He took upon himself all the shame, guilt, the porn addictions, the drugs, the pride, the selfishness, and so on and so on. Jesus paid the price for all the sins we have done or have yet to do.
Can you see how amazing this kind of love is? It is greater even if you took all the sins of your arch nemesis upon you. Imagine doing that for someone who despises you and wants you dead. Jesus died for everyone!! Everyone was not capable of love. He did it anyways. Then He gave us a helper, the Holy Spirit.
The only way we can even find the love of Jesus is through the help of the Holy Spirit. Once we realize what Jesus has done for us, it explodes inside of our innermost parts. This amazing love is truly lost upon us. We don’t understand and I am not sure we can ever fully understand the far-reaching extent of His love for us.
Why is it so hard for us to accept this amazing love? I do think we have become gun-shy. We have experienced false love time and time again. We have been told by unhealthy people that they love us, and it is a very bad experience. We trust these people and we believe they love us, but in the end no love was really expressed. It was the antithesis of love. It is the kind of thing that can shatter our hearts and crush our soul. It is fully traumatic, and it forever changes us.
It makes us stop believing in love. It makes us stop trusting in love and it makes us want to slam the door shut to love forever. It makes us believe it can’t and doesn’t exist at all.
Now that the enemy has fully brainwashed us to make us despise love, we struggle with accepting or allowing Jesus’ genuine and real love into our lives or our souls.
I can only imagine how painful this is for Jesus who not only gave his life for us but took all the shame and sin onto himself for us out of love. Jesus wants us to crawl up into his lap. He wants to hold us close to Himself in love. He wants to be known by us. He wants to share Himself with us. He is ready and willing to be that listening ear, to be that lover and to be our provider.
He is the example of how any and all relationships should be. We on the other hand, determine how our relationship with Him will go based on our experiences here on earth. That is totally backwards.
Jesus has set the framework for what a healthy functioning relationship looks like. Do you remember what the scriptures say about love?
I Corinthians 13
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body [a]to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 [b]bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails;
When you love someone, you put that someone before yourself. You do everything for them out of love. You work hard to make them smile and you want everything to be perfect for them. You may choose to make a meal or do a task for them, even if you are dead tired. You do persevere cause you don’t want to let them down. You do everything you possibly can to build them up, to encourage them and be there for them when they are struggling. You make them a priority and you notice the little things that make them smile. Then you go out of your way to give those special things that you saw pleases them, hoping it is an amazing surprise. When they feel sad, you feel sad. When they need help you are the first to offer your hand. When they make a mistake or even hurt you, you keep no records and you realize cause of the love you have that they are not perfect and that everyone needs grace and mercy. It is never about what you can get out of the relationship, it is always what you can give.
We only know these things, cause it is exactly how we are treated by Jesus. He is the ultimate example. We are to make Him a priority, cause we love Him so very much!! Imagine if we valued Jesus half as much as some of our personal relationships we have with other people. What would that actually look like?
Can you really have an amazing relationship with someone if you never talk? Can you really have a relationship if you never spend time together? What if you started to do all the things for Jesus, like you may have done for your latest crush?
You see that Jesus is far more capable of sustaining real and reliable relationships. He truly does love us FOR REAL!! We need to be transformed from the inside out. We need to shake loose the bad traits and habits this dark world has taught us. They are lies and deadly.
Imagine about the last disagreement you had with someone. Imagine if you kept yourself and your wants out of it. Imagine if you responded as Jesus would have responded.
What if you only regarded Jesus’ opinion of you and no one else’s opinions. What if how you looked, or what size you are, or how much money you have was cast through the loving eyes of Jesus. Does what this world thinks about you really matter?
I was reading the other day about how the enemy infiltrates our minds. I learned that in order for our hearts to see and know truth, we need to take our thoughts captive all the time!!!
Have you ever begun to think about someone (a person that you love) in a negative light? Here is an example. Let’s consider Someone you love, and I am talking about agape love, not eros love. It can be applied to eros love, but the larger picture is the agape love. So imagine that someone, let’s say that they made a mistake. It is a minor one. Then you begin to think how dare they behave like this. Then the thoughts magnify, you begin to say things you figure will happen. Then suddenly this person is guilty of possible future behaviors that you have created in your head. You begin to feel more and more angry at that person for the things they didn’t even do. Your thoughts escalate and you begin to feel out right rage!! This escalates into bitterness. This all happened within a few seconds.
Suddenly you feel outrage. You are so angry you cannot contain yourself. Then you lash out in what appears as irrational anger towards this person you LOVE!! Then as you perseverate and try to figure out what the heck just happened; you begin to wonder how has this been possible?
Then you realize that these feelings or thoughts really do not reflect how you feel in your inner most parts. Why then are you feeling this? This is an age-old tactic of the enemy to project thoughts or feelings into you that are not your own. It feels so natural and sounds like your inner voice, so you are totally accepting of it. You think it is you just thinking your own thoughts. Once you realize that this can happen, and does happen all the time, you begin to ask yourself questions about these so-called thoughts of yours.
Philippians 4
4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! 5 Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is [c]near. 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all [d]comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is [e]lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, [f]dwell on these things. 9 The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
Once I was enlightened to this process of infiltration by the enemy of us and Jesus, I began to get upset. I realized I was being manipulated by darkness. I was being a vessel of darkness at these moments. I can not accept this. I cannot allow this to persist. My love for people is real and I certainly am not going to jeopardize my relationships by allowing the success of this tactic any longer.
Acts 20:28-31
28 Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you [q]overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He [r]purchased [s]with His own blood. 29 I know that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; 30 and from among your own selves men will arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after them. 31 Therefore be on the alert
I believe that love is the most powerful force in the universe. Why would I allow the devices of the enemy to destroy the most precious gifts of relationships? You see, the enemy knows that love and relationships are foundational. If darkness can destroy the foundation, the whole nation falls to a crumbling mess.
What now?? What can we do? How do we move forward in a world that is designed to make us fall backwards and back and back some more? We have all that we need you know? Look at the amazing example that the life of Jesus expressed.
Philippians 2 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
Be Like Christ
2 Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any [a]affection and compassion, 2 make my joy complete [b]by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. 3 Do nothing [c]from [d]selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Have this attitude [e]in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be [f]grasped, 7 but [g]emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death [h]on a cross. 9 For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
12 So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; 13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.
14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing; 15 so that you will [i]prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you [j]appear as [k]lights in the world, 16 holding [l]fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain. 17 But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all. 18 You too, I urge you, rejoice in the same way and share your joy with me.
All we have to do is cry out to Father. We need Jesus, every moment of every day. We need Him. We need His love and forgiveness. We need His perfect example of how to behave and how to have amazing relationships, with Jesus and with others.
Jesus will heal our inner most parts at our request. He will train us to hear The Holy Spirit. He will help us to be obedient and He will be love for us and through us.
We just need to submit to Him, knowing He is truth, wisdom and love. Will you do this, will you give your life to Jesus, fully and completely? Will you seek Him like gold and treasure Him like silver? Will you learn His voice? Will you obey His voice? Will you receive His amazing Love???????